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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27935109">third time's the charm</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ctrlshiftsea/pseuds/ctrlshiftsea'>ctrlshiftsea</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>League of Legends RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>2020 rosters, Angst, Explicit Language, Friends to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, No Beta :pensive:, Slow Burn, Texting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:55:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,172</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27935109</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ctrlshiftsea/pseuds/ctrlshiftsea</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Miky thinks about his history with junglers since the start of his career, and loses his mind trying to figure out where Jankos fits in all of it. But one thing's for sure: there's nothing actually going on between them.</p><p>Right?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Marcin "Jankos" Jankowski/Mihael "Mikyx" Mehle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>87</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. the good ol' days</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>big disclaimer that this is all fictional</p><p>ive seen that TSM released a video where the players read fanfiction and im honestly a little scared. i had a lengthy explanation as to why im posting this that goes into my opinion on RPF but frankly im just embarassed and cba at this point. just, if anyone from g2 or esports in general chances upon this, please just dm me so i can delete this and then myself. drop me a dm, i beg, or just drop me</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>well time slips away and leaves you with nothing</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i have a conspiracy theory that miky has the best english out of all of them no i wont be explaining myself</p>
<p>not the song this chapter is named after but I had <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/0PKmDncVOiNQLO6D1P6PXi?si=c726_XxnT5-y9QR_nDpGpgl">this</a> on loop while editing</p>
<p>(chapter is named after bruce springsteen's <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/2Y90nL1ohB4sgYELDs7uNx?si=ZoXlGllDRRSkV1CIRn1cbg">glory days</a> but I took it for the lyrics tonally it doesn't really fit askdjhafs)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It all started with Kold, Miky thinks. Or <em> Trashy </em>as he used to call himself. But Miky had only ever called him by his given name. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>In retrospect, it wasn’t at all surprising that he fell for the eldest Dane. He was young, and being thrust into the big city with a house filled with boys definitely helped him figure out his burgeoning sexuality. Jonas was always looking out for the entire team, especially Miky, the only one who didn’t know a lick of Danish. And he liked when he was taken care of, since that meant he didn’t need to do it himself. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>All in all, a net positive in Miky’s eyes. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You were always such a disgusting anime schoolgirl around him, Miky.” Wunder tells him one night, both of them chilling in the gaming room after a 21 set game of MK11, reminiscing about their first team. “It wasn’t exactly a secret.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Miky turned around from where he was plugging in their PS4 controllers for the night, his ears red with the reminder of his debut years as a pro gamer. The team had been given a rare day off for the last few weeks of the split after locking in their playoffs spot. Luka and Rasmus had decided to turn in early, and Jankos was streaming late into the night in Miky’s room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Shut the fuck up.” He said, no actual malice in his voice as he walked back to the couch.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wunder smirked, handing Miky his can of cheap German beer, the condensation dripping onto the cushions. The support snatched it out of his hand and plopped down on the couch next to Wunder, taking a long swig in the process. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If only he watched anime back then. Then you and him could’ve been disgusting weebs in matrimony.” Wunder continued, clapping his hand over his heart in mock sympathy. Miky narrowed his eyes and shoved him in response.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Never would’ve happened. He was trying to cancel my pizza diet.” Miky shrugged, taking another sip from his beer. He and Jonas had a good laugh about it years later, but Miky still remembered the intense indignation he felt when Jonas was trying to steer his diet to healthier options. All about maintaining a good lifestyle, keeping his energy up for matches, blah blah blah. Jonas was right, of course. He always was. But it was the principle of the matter. And it didn’t stop Miky from eating and doing what he wanted. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> “You forgot about the pasta too,” Wunder pointed out. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ah, you right, you right.” Miky chuckled, raising his can in cheers. Wunder clinked his own against his with a similar grin. The liquid goes down nice and easy, the light burn slowly trickling through his insides as he leaned his head back into the couch cushions and sighed, relaxed.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Miky wasn’t exactly legal when he first got a taste of alcohol. He has much better tolerance now, but back then, besides sips of wine at family gatherings and secret beers passed around in high school, he never had much experience with social drinking. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Danes, on the other hand, were an entirely different story.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was during the time Splyce locked in the last seed for worlds, and the entire gaming house was celebrating the fact with greasy food and cheap alcohol. The rest of his teammates were already tipsy and cackling, with the music turned up loud enough that they were sure to get noise complaints in the morning. For a bunch of gamers, they could all hold their alcohol pretty well. Aside from himself, of course. A couple of the inhouse staff and Yamato were also there to keep everyone in check, so when his coach’s girlfriend winked at Miky and handed him a plastic cup filled with whatever jungle juice got mixed up for the night, he felt pretty safe to take a few cursory sips. It burned through his throat and nose, leaving a strange heat burning deep in his stomach that spread to the rest of his body. His face wrinkled at the taste, much to the amusement of the people around him, but Miky could see the appeal. His head was already feeling lighter and the liquid fire coursing across his veins made his limbs looser. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>However, where Miky was still nursing his first cup, the Danes were already a couple drinks and shots in, with Jonas himself already deep in the celebratory mood. He was coming around to all of his team members, high off emotions and alcohol, to give them a smooch on the cheek. Wunder took his with as much grace and dignity as a 190 cm giant could with someone half his size, having to bend down at the waist just so Jonas could reach him. Chres wasn’t so lucky though, as Jonas caught him on the mouth when he tried to turn away and Chres started screaming halfway through. When Jonas made his way over to his adc, Kobbe immediately put his hand between his face and Jonas’ mouth. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t even think about it.” he threatened his jungler, still smiling all the same. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Once Jonas got to Miky, he stopped for a moment, before softening his gaze and gave the support a small smile. Miky immediately felt his heart go up his throat. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey Miky,” Jonas said, his hand squeezing Miky’s upper arm and a big goofy smile on his face. Miky felt the warmth seep through his button-up like a hot iron and froze up at the contact, standing as still as a statue as the rest of the house hollers around him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey Jonas,” he whispered in reply, cracking a nervous smile. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jonas’ eyes softened, his light eyes looking almost purple against the dim lighting in the house. “Thanks for being on the team, we wouldn’t be here without you.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He moved his hands to cup the sides of the support’s face, and Miky couldn't help but tip his head down to make it easier. He had grown so fast during the split and was already taller than his jungler. Jonas leaned forward and gave him a gentle kiss on his forehead, his lips soft and the sour smell of alcohol on his breath. The moment barely lasted a couple of seconds, but honestly, the entire year could’ve passed by and he wouldn’t have cared. Idly, he hoped his face wasn’t too oily as his blush exploded all over his body. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Alright, what do I have to do to get some food in this house?” Jonas yelled out to the room, already turning away from his support, right as Kobbe reappeared in the gaming room with multiple pizza boxes in hand. Miky needed to sit down, barely feeling his legs take him to the couch behind him. He slowly sank into the couch, clutching his cup close to himself. His head was spinning, his face felt like it was going to explode, and his heart wouldn’t stop beating against his chest. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“First time drinking?” Yamato asked, taking a seat next to Miky, who was already deep into the cushions and away from the world. In retrospect, his coach was probably giving him an out for his gay panic attack. He really wasn’t all that subtle with it. He nodded dumbly as Yamato produced a plastic water bottle out of nowhere and handed it to him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Stay hydrated, kid. Wouldn’t want our star support passing out on us.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Still floating high off the kiss, Miky watched the night go on; eating his fill of pizza, playing party games with the rest of the house, and thinking that things could only go up from here. </p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>“Honestly, I’m a little offended you didn’t fall for me or Chres. You were with him on Misfits as well.” Wunder said, snapping him out of his reverie as the toplaner leaned down to pick up an unopened beer can on the rug. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well,” Miky started good-naturedly, pushing his glasses up with his finger. “I would be lying if I said you weren’t considered. Not a big fan of midlanders though. Too much ego.” He let out a wide grin once he caught Wunder sniggering behind his drink.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was nice to just sit down and talk candidly about these things with Wunder. Meeting up with him again when he joined G2 started off a bit awkwardly, as they only had time for friendly exchanges before matches after they both left Splyce. That was mostly on himself, as Miky was never really comfortable with starting conversation. Wunder isn’t one for beating around the bush though, and immediately called Miky out for treating him like they were just acquaintances. They hit it off again afterwards and got closer than they were on Splyce very quickly. The honesty between the two of them, and the rest of their teammates as well, was refreshing after his stints with other teams. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wunder was also the first one on the team that Miky came out to, and as a result he felt a lot more comfortable talking openly with him when the conversation steers in that direction. It’s not that he couldn’t trust Luka or that he felt uncomfortable talking about it, but Wunder just made it all easier in his own way. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nice, nice! That's a point I get over him.” Wunder said once he calmed down, popping the tab in his beer. “But still, Jonas over me? Ouch, Miky.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He was <em> nice</em>, Wunder. And I was <em> seventeen</em>. Hormones and shit.” Miky flapped his free hand around to enunciate his point, but his toplaner’s growing grin told him that it was having the opposite effect. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Rasmus is nice. Do you have a crush on Rasmus?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Miky grimaced into his drink. “Don’t even joke about that. He’s like a little brother.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wunder barked out another laugh, always a bit looser once he had a couple drinks in him and not at all caring that half of the gaming house was asleep. “So? Did you ever talk to Jonas about it?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Miky pinched the bridge of his nose and slouched further down his seat, his head almost level with the bottom cushion as he stretched his legs out onto the sofa extension. Forget what he said before about enjoying one-on-one’s with Wunder. It sucks actually, recounting memories of his romantic blunders. For every good moment he shared with Jonas, there were at least a dozen more where he was a teenage cringe kid, and they were all deciding to resurface <em> now. </em> “There was no way he didn’t know, and I definitely didn’t bring it up then. I think he was being nice by not mentioning it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wunder pondered this for a second, looking up at the popcorned ceiling. “You never know. I’m pretty sure Kasper didn’t know, he can be pretty dense.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh my lord, please don’t tell him. Or else.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Or else what?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Or else next time you go on a raid, the internet might <em> accidentally </em>go out for the next five hours.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wunder snorted, “I’d like to see you try to pull that one off. Someone will end up fixing it the second it goes down. Such a lightweight that you’re forgetting that we need wifi 24/7 to make a living?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Am not. A lightweight.” Miky punctuated petulantly, feeling his cheeks burn up to help his case. He only had a couple cans of beer. He was better than this, damnit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, sure. Gimme that you little baby. Enough for you.” Wunder said, reaching over to grab Miky’s can of beer. It was already empty so it really didn’t matter, but Miky was feeling rebellious tonight. They pawed at each other with as much accuracy as two buzzed men could, before Wunder let out an extremely wet burp and collapsed atop Miky. They stared at each other for a second, before Wunder broke and started giggling. Miky couldn’t help but do the same.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Once Wunder got off of him, the two of them vibed out for a bit, the conversation slowing down and Miky almost ready to nod off right then and there, the alcohol starting to warm up his entire body. He was just about to right before Wunder hit him with the statement of the century. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m glad you’re happy with Jankos now though.” Wunder said, apropos of nothing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> Wait, what? </em> Miky immediately woke up, his mind going completely blank after hearing Wunder and choked on his reply. “I’m not—in a relationship? With Jankos though?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wunder, to his credit, doesn’t even react to being completely wrong, “Oh I thought, well, you two always seemed to be flaunting your relationship around the rest of us.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wiping his mouth into his collar, Miky muttered sarcastically, “Yes Wunder, because <em> hypothetically, </em> if me and Jankos were together, we wouldn’t tell our teammates <em> who have to live with us. </em>”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And here I thought this conversation was going to lead to you finally admitting to it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“There’s nothing to admit between me and Jankos.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What about me, Miky?” Jankos crooned, announcing his presence at the hallway door. He must have ended his stream for the night, which they really should’ve noticed once the noise stopped coming from Miky’s room. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If you wanted me to spend time with you, all you needed to do was ask, you know.” The jungler walked over and plopped himself down right next to Miky, smacking his hand right on his support’s thigh and getting uncomfortably close. Despite the lack of personal space, Miky couldn’t help cracking a smile before he pushed Jankos away. What a clown. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And you guys were drinking without me?” Jankos booed, standing up to take a look at the collection of beer cans on the table. He raised his eyebrows flirtatiously, a sight that Miky was all too familiar with at this point. “You and me, Miky. We’re watching anime together and it’s <em> my </em> turn to drink with you. We’re making the most of this day off.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can you guys at least talk about anime when I’m out of the room? Please.” Wunder groaned besides him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Miky shook his head at his jungler’s antics, but he was already getting up from his seat to head into the kitchen for more drinks, “Go set it up on the laptop, I’ll be there in a jiffy.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jankos gave his signature high pitched squeal—rip his ears—and scampered back into Miky’s room. Before Miky could take a step from the couch though, he felt a tug on the bottom of his shirt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, wait a second and recycle this for me,” Wunder demanded. He was now sprawled over the area that Miky just stood up from, lazily finishing off the rest of his beer while Miky looked at him, unimpressed. “I’m calling bullshit, by the way.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sorry?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Bullshit. That you and Jankos don’t have something going on.” Wunder handed him his empty can, a rare, serious look in his eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Miky sighed, taking the can and gathering the others on the coffee table into his arms. “There's seriously nothing between us. It’s just a running gag at this point, Wunder,”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That's probably the worst lie you’ve ever told me, and we played Among Us together.” Wunder retorted, standing up from his seat. Miky knows the move wasn’t meant to be intimidating, but Wunder was just so<em> tall</em>. It was times like these, when Miky is forced to look up at his toplaner, that he’s reminded of just how small he was compared to the Dane. It made him feel like a kid again, unable to do anything for himself or make his own decisions, and Miky <em> hated </em> that. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wunder,” Miky started, voice low and cautious as to not let the rest of the house hear this conversation. “I would be a little crazy to actually fall for Jankos.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Have you seen the way you both act around each other? There’s something there. I know you Miky, even if you won’t admit it to yourself.” Wunder hissed back at him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Miky’s eyebrows twitches, affronted. He wasn’t in love with Jankos. It was just the way Jankos showed affection. And Miky wasn’t about to kill his mood by seriously turning down his jungler all the time. After joining G2, Miky learned that for Jankos, his actions spoke surprisingly louder than words. He would always care for the members in different ways; whether it was cooking and sharing small meals with them after workouts, getting them to go outside with him to shop to let them cool their heads after soloq, or something as simple as making sure their desks were clean before they turned in for the night. And as one of the newest members and the shyest person on the team, Miky ended up spending a lot of time with Jankos during 2019, while Rasmus hung out with Luka. So what if all the things Jankos did to get closer with his support and make him feel comfortable continued well after they established themselves as friends? If anything, Miky enabled it by never really pushing Jankos away. It didn’t mean anything. He was being taken care of, he had someone who enjoyed watching anime with him, he never really got touched-starved with the amount of skinship and massages Jankos was willing to give out; so what if Miky wanted to lean into the affection sometimes? Their relationship wasn’t exactly textbook, and they never talked about boundaries, but Miky <em> liked </em> where it was. And he wasn’t going to let the idea of having <em> feelings </em> ruin what they had going for them. He <em> wasn’t </em>in love with Jankos. It was just—  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What do you know.” Miky mumbled flatly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He turned away from Wunder to stare at the floorboards underneath Rasmus’ desk, a frown starting to appear on his face as he sobered up real quick. He had one too many beers in him to seriously be considering what Wunder had said. There was no use thinking about hypotheticals and romances for a pro player, anyway. After a minute of silence between the two of them, Wunder sighed and looked off to the side as well. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I just—you’re one of my closest friends. I don’t want to see you get hurt.” He apologized sheepishly, rubbing his fingers in an uncharacteristically nervous gesture. “I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it,” Miky murmured, the cans in his arms crinkling with a metallic tinkle as he tightens his grip on them. “I’ve been through this before. Nothing is going to happen.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>That last sentence held a note of bitterness to it, something that both Miky and Wunder knew, but it wasn’t like either of them was going to bring it up. What was there to even say? Miky was just a little lonely in that department. They all were, really. <em> It’s whatever </em>. Perfectly normal for someone his age and especially within his career path. Quarantine was just maxing up those feelings for him. Besides, Jankos is always going off about wanting to get a wife or a girlfriend so it wasn’t like there was a chance anyway. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Honestly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ll keep the fact that you called me one of your closest friends to heart, though.” Miky huffed softly, lightly punching Wunder’s arm in a sign of goodwill. This got the toplaner to lighten up a bit in response, his usual cockiness showing as one end of his mouth quirked up in amusement.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t let it get to your head. No one will believe you if you tell them.” Wunder mussed up Miky’s hair, knowing it would annoy him as the strands fell between his glasses and over his eyes. The support quickly shook his head like a dog, unsuccessfully trying to get everything back into place. “Hurry up and watch your cringe cartoons with Jankos already.”</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>If Jankos noticed that Miky’s face was any more sour than he last saw it, he doesn't mention it. He was already lying down on his stomach on the bed, the laptop perched atop a pillow. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Miky! You’re going to miss the opening.” Jankos greeted him, patting the empty space next to him. It was going to be a tight fit, given that Miky’s bed wasn’t exactly made for two adult men, but they always seemed to manage.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s just the same cutscenes I’ve already seen a million times.” Miky grumbled, tugging on the blanket Jankos was currently lying on. The jungler quickly got off to let his support rearrange the bedding so that they could both lie underneath it. He took his rightful place on the mattress where Jankos once was—nearest the wall—but once he turned around to let Jankos under the blanket as well, the jungler pressed the spacebar on the laptop and reached out for the soju bottle Miky had in his hand. Asian alcohol was hard to come by in Berlin, so the team always made sure to stock up and savor it whenever they found the chance. Jankos already made multiple jokes on the whole indirect kissing thing the first time they split a bottle, but it seemed like he had something new to show his support this time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, watch this. I learned it from a youtube video.” Jankos grinned, shaking the bottle vigorously in a circle, before holding it upside down with two hands. Miky pressed himself closer to the wall, wary of what his jungler was up to and not wanting to be within the splash zone radius.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jankos, I swear, if you spill on my bed—“</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With a flick of the wrist, Jankos quickly flipped the bottle over. With a dramatic flair and dexterity not usually seen from him, he slowly raised the hand on the neck of the bottle, revealing that the cap was already twisted off in the second it took for him to turn the bottle right side up. Miky’s eyes widened and his eyebrows went up his hairline. Okay, that was pretty neat. He didn’t even hear the pop of the cap during the whole thing. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What the fuck, how did you do that? It must’ve been open already.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“A magician never reveals his secrets,” Jankos crowed, leaning over to place the cap on the nightstand. His eyes sparkled with mirth as he looked at Miky, who was still trying to figure out just how did his arms twist like that. “Well? Was it cool or what?’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Miky sniffed and turned his head pettily. “Honestly, it was kinda lame.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>His jungler laughed. “Don’t lie, Miky! I saw your eyes of wonder when I did it.” Jankos tipped the bottle towards his support. “Here, I’ll even let you have the first sip.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Miky let out a small grin, unable to hide it much longer. Leave it to Jankos to find a way to get him to smile. He took the bottle graciously and pulled the covers up to let Jankos under them. Once they were all cozied up, he pressed play and took his next mouthful of alcohol for the night. </p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Five episodes in and the soju bottle long gone, Miky was watching the anime through half-lidded eyes, slightly bored. They were at a worldbuilding arc, and he had watched so much anime at this point that he knew he didn’t really need to pay attention that hard. His head heavy from all the alcohol tonight, Miky stretched out and put his chin on top of his arms, glancing over to his jungler on the left.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jankos doesn’t get red often from drinking, something about his Polish genes, but this is the first time in a couple years that Miky actually took the time to look at him up close. Compared to in the past, when Miky would catch glimpses of the jungler backstage and through the EU LCS mic checks, Jankos filled out more and actually looked… pretty good. His skin was clear and the light flush on his cheeks made him look a lot younger. Plus, ever since Jankos made the commitment to working out and being healthier, Miky could clearly see his biceps bulging slightly from holding up his weight from his forearms. His very strong looking, durable arms. That could probably lift Miky off his feet if Jankos ever wanted to. He didn’t even realize he was staring until Jankos looked over at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Is there something on my face Miky? Or are you finally checking me out for once?” He asked cheekily. Miky flushed, but quickly shook it off, the alcohol clouding his thoughts and making him already forget the reason behind his embarrassment. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“In your dreams.” He yawned, turning his head and resting the side of his face in his arms so that he could fully face his jungler. “How was your stream today?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At the mention of his stream, Jankos immediately lit up. He always complained about twitch chat, but Miky knew the jungler truly enjoyed streaming for his fans and appreciated all of them, despite their oddities. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh! Actually, something new happened today. One of my mods figured out how to get this prediction thing going, right? So they were setting up bets for stuff like, ‘Will Jankos win this game’ or ‘Will Jankos die more than 5 times on Kindred.’ The nerve of them, could you believe it? And the worst part was that a lot of them were voting against me doing well. And they still won!” Jankos exclaimed incredulously, throwing up a hand theatrically. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Miky giggled, the action making his shoulders shake. “Wouldn’t that be <em>your</em> fault, you dirty inter?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jankos pouted. “C’mon Miky. You’re supposed to believe in me! But <em> anyway</em>, jokes on them because now my entire chat became gambling addicts. Haha! Next they’re going to gamble their entire house, their savings, and then their family away. And who’s gonna be the winner then? That’s right, Polish wonderboy, Marcin ‘Jankos’ Jankowski!” The jungler punched his fist in the air at the same time the protagonist on screen did his special move, his support giggling even harder, and continued talking about his evening.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Miky tried to listen to Jankos to the end for once, he really did. But the alcohol and late hour finally started to settle into his gut, the warmth and coziness he got from drinking and being close to someone else bringing back the drowsiness he felt while on the couch with Wunder. So while Jankos was recounting another stream story to him, Miky slowly felt his eyelids droop lower and lower, before it all went dark and the support was asleep to the world.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Unfortunately, Miky wasn’t exactly a morning person, or else he would’ve noticed, as he shot awake to the sounds of his last morning alarm, that someone had tucked him in and taken off his glasses for him. The very glasses that he swiped off his nightstand without thinking to put on and rush out of his room to wash up in the bathroom before he became late for the team’s morning draft meeting. He was still the last one to get into the gaming room however, taking in all the jeers and jokes from his teammates like a champ. He took his honorary seat next to Luka, who nudged him with a devilish grin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good morning sleeping beauty. Looks like someone lost their hairbrush today.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Miky rolled his eyes and quickly combed through his bangs with his fingers, probably making it worse and having his hair stick up even more. Grabbz cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention back to the whiteboard, while Duffman shot Miky an understanding smile. He reciprocated with a lazy grin, and they all went back to their regular routine. </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WT0CXsYHWvo&amp;ab_channel=JamaicaAcu%C3%B1a">link to the soju bottle trick</a><br/>tae exudes some massive jankos energy here: competence and then straight into clownery</p>
<p>not my best, but its 2AM and i wanted to get this out of my head since 2019. if you watch jankos' streams you would also know the timeline is a little off here, but the opening of the casino has been so hilarious i could not NOT add it here. thought if youre looking for jankos miky content, i would look for when he played with rekkles and co. it was very cute and the amount of things that happened would need its own essay to go through completely. plus miky and sencux were playing together i was ready to cry 2016 Splyce forever baby. </p>
<p>any feedback is welcome :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. waste</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>what a waste to be so alone</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this chapter's song: <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/3fOCHVP6W1uXr2kkZ1dzm0?si=ZO_GbaN8Rj-HNpSXiihfAA">Waste by Oh Wonder</a></p><p>it’s been quite a while, hasnt it? sorry for the late update, just a lot of things happening in my life right now, its been a mess. This chapter has been mostly written for a while, but i lost a bit of confidence in it and its been going through a whole lot of cuts and edits. it’s structured differently from the last one but clocks in at almost twice as long since i wanted to keep with the dumb title pun (~8.5k geez). buckle up, we are going to pull an epic gamer move called “creating drama and angst.”</p><p>Also wunder is a continuing victim of anime crimes</p><p>if there are any proofreading errors, I'll fix it when i wake up. I'll delete this message once i do</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
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</p><p><b>kobbe</b>: YOU HAD A CRUSH ON JONAS???????</p><p> </p><p><b>MikyXD</b>: .</p><p> </p><p><b>kobbe</b>: OH MY GOD IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW</p><p><b>kobbe</b>: LUL</p><p><b>kobbe</b>: little baby miky having a crush on big brother jonas :widepeepoHappy:</p><p><b>kobbe</b>: hey</p><p><b>kobbe</b>: watcha doin now lil step bro</p><p> </p><p><b>MikyXD</b>: don’t you dare continue that disgusting roleplay</p><p><b>MikyXD</b>: i’m breaking quarantine to hunt you down</p><p><b>MikyXD</b>: wunder is already on my hit list</p><p> </p><p><b>kobbe</b>: XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p><b>Sencux</b>: hey</p><p> </p><p><b>MikyXD</b>: shut up</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p><b>Luka</b>: ur support is prowling around the house hunting down our toplaner with the metal utensils</p><p><b>Luka</b>: please stop him</p><p> </p><p><b>Rasmus</b>: actually he’s YOUR support this split </p><p> </p><p><b>Luka</b>: no u</p><p> </p><p><b>Rasmus</b>: no YOU</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Several people are typing… </em>
</p><p> </p><p><b>GrabbZ</b>: listen up u little shits u have scrims in two hours and @p1noy is coming in today</p><p><b>GrabbZ</b>: i want this resolved or else the post game review will be going on for even longer </p><p> </p><p><b>Luka</b>: fuck u grabbz </p><p><b>Luka</b>: don’t use pinoy as an excuse</p><p> </p><p><b>Jankos</b>: guys i just finished my jog</p><p><b>Jankos</b>: is it even worth to come back to the gaming house? everyone is being so naughty 🤭</p><p> </p><p><b>MikyXD</b>: bring back an XL trash bag for @Wunderwear’s dead body</p><p> </p><p><b>Rasmus</b>: but miky Excel doesn’t live in berlin 🤔</p><p> </p><p><b>Luka</b>: im actually going to kill all of you</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Some days, when Miky felt like he'd had enough solo queue for the day, and Jankos was still streaming in his room, he’d hang around the Pole’s own bedroom. It wasn’t really an explicit agreement between the two of them, just an organic compromise that came about when Miky first moved to the gaming house and learned the finer details of Jankos’ streaming schedule. </p><p> </p><p>So this was where Miky found himself, lying on Jankos’ bed, leisurely scrolling through anitwitter on his phone, when the door slammed open, startling him enough to promptly drop his phone on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“MIKY, YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE—oh hey, are you okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Just a broken nose. No big deal.” Miky mumbled, picking up his phone and sitting up to face his jungler. He gingerly tapped his nose, slightly wincing at contact. “What happened?”</p><p> </p><p>Without missing a beat, Jankos continued with his previous vigor. “My chat is full of fucking skanks! Can you believe what they were saying?”</p><p> </p><p>“Enlighten me.” Miky humored him, leaning back on the palms of his hands.</p><p> </p><p>“‘Open the tables or we leave!’ I can’t believe that they would betray me so fast like that. They’re not here for me, or my gameplay—”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait, wait, wait.” Miky interrupted him, waving both hands at his jungler to stifle his snort. “You thought they were ever watching you for your <em> gameplay?” </em></p><p> </p><p>There’s a pause, with Miky trying (read: failing) to hide his laughter and Jankos processing what his support just said. </p><p> </p><p>“Mikyyyyy,” He finally cried, taking the beginning, threatening steps to tackle his support on the bed. “You’re so rude, just like the rest of them.”  </p><p> </p><p>Miky smoothly dodged the attack, leaning his entire body away from his jungler, having got used to it by previous attempts, and snorted at the way Jankos flopped onto the bed. Jankos looked at him, his body half on the bed and half on the floor, the most exaggerated pout on his face. For a second, Miky’s gaze softened looking down at his jungler, a feeling of fondness suddenly washing him. Just as fast, he mentally shook off that feeling. He’s been trying not to get into that. Consciously experiencing positive emotions for Jankos? How embarrassing. He looked away, putting his phone back into his pocket, and stood up,</p><p> </p><p>“Well, if you’re done, I’ll be going back to my room then.” Miky said, patting himself down and making his way towards the door.</p><p> </p><p>“But Miky, my heart hurts.” His jungler whined. “You know what would make it feel better?”</p><p> </p><p>Against his better judgement, Miky turned around to give him a snarky answer. “No, I really don’t.”</p><p> </p><p>“If you sleep with me tonight.” Jankos cooed, walking right up to Miky and putting his hands on his shoulders. “I’ll let you hog the blankets.”</p><p> </p><p>Miky gave his jungler the most disgusted face he could muster, but not before he took a sharp intake of breath once Jankos put his warm hands on him. He blames it on the sudden temperature change.</p><p> </p><p>“Aw, don’t be like that.” Jankos’ hands slid down until it rested on his support’s waist, giving his sides a loving squeeze and his fingers angled in a way to also fondle Miky’s butt.</p><p> </p><p>It says a lot about the amount of times the two of them get caught up in this exact situation, that Jankos is able to effortlessly avoid the swing from the support’s fist aimed at his stomach. Miky scowled, his ears a deep red, as he flung the door closed behind him. Even with a wooden barrier between them, he could still hear the muted cackles of his jungler from the other side. Fucking Jankos. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Despite having been a part of G2 for almost two years now, living and playing with the same people for almost as long as his time on Splyce, Miky sometimes sees the afterimages of his old teammates in his new home.</p><p> </p><p>They show up in the small things, like when Luka walks around in his underwear and he sees Wunder reprimanding Chres for the same thing. Or when he catches Caps staying up all night playing solo queue and he feels the same ache in his fingertips as when he and Steven climbed to korean challenger in four days. </p><p> </p><p>A rare morning where he actually got out of bed before noon, Miky found Jankos in the kitchen making his daily cup of black tea. His jungler was leaning against the counter, scrolling through his phone sleepily while waiting for the kettle to boil. The tea itself wasn’t anything special, just one of the cheaper brands they picked up before the pandemic. Jankos waved slowly at Miky as he walked up, really just holding up his free hand and letting it fall to the side, and mumbled out a ‘good morning.’ He needed his morning caffeine before he could transform into a Polish banshee once scrims started. </p><p> </p><p>Miky wasn’t thinking about his assault on his eardrums in the coming hours, though. Because the quiet of the early morning made their kitchen look smaller than usual, the light catching on the countertops in a certain way that brings up memories from a time before success became a relief rather than a goal. He blinked, and the scene was replaced with a narrower kitchen and a shorter, darker haired man.</p><p> </p><p>… </p><p> </p><p>For the Misfits jungler, tea making was an almost obsessive artform. Or at least, whenever Miky caught him making it. The support still wasn’t sure if it was a bit or not after he left. Nubar had his own high quality British loose leaf he would bring from home, and easily spent the majority of his mornings babysitting the whole process of making the perfect brew.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing?” Miky asked during his first couple of weeks on Misfits, when he first ran into the jungler in the tiny kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>Immediately, Nubar shushed him, waving a very dangerously hot kettle around. “You’re going to disturb her.”</p><p> </p><p>“You personify your tea?” Miky snorted, opening one of the cabinets for a bowl, making sure the hinges squeaked as loud as they could. He received an unimpressed look for his crimes.</p><p> </p><p>“She needs the peace of a quiet kitchen and the sun’s gentle rays to bloom into the perfect brew. Now tell me, young Miky,” Nubar fully turned to him, thankfully putting the kettle down. Miky raised an eyebrow from where he was pouring his cereal into a bowl. “What do you know about how to make tea the proper way?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know anything, but I’m told adding boba is pretty good.” He supplied helpfully, remembering the sweet tapioca drink Steven introduced him to during one of their team bonding outings. Nubar immediately groaned at his answer, sending the support into a fit of giggles as he ducked behind the refrigerator door to grab the milk.</p><p> </p><p>“None of that sugary weeb shit, Miky! You’re killing me here.” Nubar placed the back of his hand against his forehead dramatically. “Hand me the milk.”</p><p> </p><p>“But I want to pour it in my cereal first.” Miky pouted, holding the carton over his head to keep it out of reach.</p><p> </p><p>“Your dumb Cheerios can wait. This takes the utmost precedence.” And Miky would let out an easy laugh, before handing the milk to the jungler. Nubar carefully allowed measured amounts of milk to stream into the mug, with the seriousness of a scientist in a lab, while Miky watched him curiously, munching on a handful of dry cereal.</p><p> </p><p>“Now get another cup from the cabinet. Even the one with the anime girls is fine.”</p><p> </p><p>“Making another one for Ismael?” Miky asked through muffled lips, swallowing the last of his mouthful, before sifting through the cabinets for the cursed weeb cup.</p><p> </p><p>“Nah, I’m passing on the sacred arts to you.” Nubar grinned, hopping onto the counter and picking up his mug, taking a leisurely sip. “It pains me to watch you live in ignorance.”</p><p> </p><p>And with the same morning light washing over Jankos right now, Nubar would be bathed in a pale, glowing yellow, the light catching on the edges of beard and making his face alight with small flames. Just the two of them alone in the cramped gaming house kitchen, talking about league, anime, or guessing what their chef was making for lunch. Sometimes, it was just Miky softly singing and Nubar humming along. Anything or nothing at all. It’s a peaceful moment in his memory, but not one he liked to dwell on. Nubar was softer, happier like this. Before summer, before making worlds became less of a guarantee and more of a faraway dream. He was—</p><p> </p><p>Well. That was neither here nor there. So it’s best to leave it at that.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re blocking the toaster.” Miky said groggily. Jankos responded with two steps to the right and a yawn. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The rest of the team started to come into the common area a little after Jankos finished the rest of his tea and Miky was finishing off the last bites of his toast. Wunder came in wiping off the toothpaste smeared across Rasmus’ cheek, who looked like he was still asleep, while Luka was streaking through the house in his underwear looking for a clean jersey. Even with the whole pandemic situation going on, every team in the league still had to do their Riot content obligations. Such as photo shoots for the playoffs hype videos. Miky was half hoping they would take the G2 route and just do cardboard cutouts of all the teams, as he lethargically climbed into the company car to go to the filming location. Such a blessed Wednesday that was, sleeping in until noon with no content schedule, knowing that Charlie and the others had to work with life sized cardboard models instead of the team themselves. </p><p> </p><p>He was later shaken awake by Rasmus, who was sitting in the backseat next to him and was also the bearer of his left earbud.</p><p> </p><p>“I hear they want you to go first,” His midlaner grinned, taking off his earbud and handing it back to his support. “Extra scenes or something.” </p><p> </p><p>Figures. Miky rubbed his eyes and followed Rasmus out of the car, pulling his mask over his nose. Their manager was already standing next to the door, making sure each player got a squirt of hand sanitizer before they went any further. The shooting location wasn’t anything special on the outside, just another unassuming warehouse, but he knew that the broadcast team probably rigged up bright lights and futuristic sets inside. </p><p> </p><p>Once their group walked through the door, Miky was already being separated from the rest of his team. A masked staff member was leading him down a different hallway, while the rest of his team snickered and went into their designated waiting room. </p><p> </p><p>“We’re a bit on a tight schedule,” The staff member explained apologetically as he dropped him off in front of the makeup room. “Gotta keep it like an assembly line, yanno?”</p><p> </p><p>Miky hummed in reply, muffled through his mask. At the very least, he’ll get to finish early and maybe he could convince some of the others to take an early uber home. He took a seat in front of a mirror, taking off his mask and scrunching it up his hands. One of the makeup artists put up two glass bottles of foundation next to his face, whistling lowly as she did so. </p><p> </p><p>“Somehow, you’ve gotten impossibly paler. Have you been eating well?” She quickly ran a hand through his hair, combing his bangs out of his forehead, and taking off his glasses. “Letting this mane grow out too?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not exactly like we can just go out for a haircut nowadays.” He said dryly, closing his eyes to allow her to brush makeup near his nose bridge. “And I’ve seen what they’ve done in Fnatic.” They both shared a chuckle before she continued. </p><p> </p><p>“Didn’t Jankos used to be in culinary school? Why don’t you ask him to be your new chef?” She joked, rubbing something away near the corner of his eye.</p><p> </p><p>“You’d be surprised.” Miky huffed, cracking an eye open once his makeup artist stopped her ministrations. “He offers me his dinner when he does it himself but doesn’t make a habit of it.”</p><p> </p><p>She looked at him amused as she screws open a round container, “Really? Because that's a whole lot more than what your other teammates tell me. Rumor has it that he doesn’t let anyone except special people like his friends and family at home eat his cooking.” </p><p> </p><p>Well that’s… news to him. Miky feels like he stepped right into a trap, feeling his ears warm up for some reason, and quickly opened his mouth in protest to remedy the situation, but she waved around a powder puff threateningly. </p><p> </p><p>“Uh uh! Close your eyes and hold your breath.” He always hated this part, it made his face feel all dry and delicate. Miky scrunched up his nose once she was done, and opened his eyes to her cleaning her hands with a wipe.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re not together or anything.” He said, watching her take out the hair wax and warm it up between her fingers.<br/><br/></p><p>“Never said that, honey.” She raised her eyebrow at him, but started laughing once she started pulling her fingers through his hair. “Oh, don’t make that face, Jankos is a nice boy. You two would be cute together.” </p><p> </p><p>Miky’s so glad that he was the only player in the makeup room, because he could already imagine Jankos’ smug grin at the statement. He sullenly slouches into his seat, staring at his blurry reflection in the mirror in front of him.</p><p> </p><p>“I mean, I don’t think he’s gay.” He tried again, quieter this time.</p><p> </p><p>“A shame then,” She replied casually, fixing a strand of hair that fell back into his forehead. “A young boy like you being alone is a waste.” She grins and places a hand on the top of the chair, taking a second to look at Miky in the mirror before handing back his glasses. “Especially with the work we do to bring out your handsomeness every week.”</p><p> </p><p>Miky looked away bashfully at the praise, always a little unsure on how to respond to genuine compliments without shaking his head and saying a knee jerk ‘shut up.’ He blamed Jankos and Luka for ingraining that habit into him. Hopping off the chair, he said his thanks before making his way to the door, where Wunder was waiting for his turn outside.</p><p> </p><p>As he’s led to the shooting area, Miky realized he never told his makeup artist that he was gay either.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“We’re gonna be the new gods toppling the old gods. Straight for the crown.” Steven chirped, being his regular bubbly self. Even with the mask covering most of his face, Miky could still see the warm eye smile coming from his former adc. </p><p> </p><p>“We both watched enough anime together to know this is just my redemption arc.” Miky returned, lifting his chin conspicuously. A different makeup artist clicked her tongue and pushed his face back down again so she could pat on more concealer on his forehead. “Just lost a couple games to keep it interesting.”</p><p> </p><p>And Steven let out a little giggle, with Miky joining along after hearing it. When he came into the larger room where they were going to do the shooting, he discovered the Rogue adc finishing up his own set. The adc was leaning over one of the cameramen, giving his approvals over several different photos of himself. Once he saw the support enter, Steven immediately bounded over to Miky, still cleaning off his makeup with a wipe and ignoring everyone warning him about social distancing. His normally reserved nature seemingly flew out the window as he excitedly flapped his hands in his jacket sleeves. </p><p> </p><p>“It's been so long since I’ve seen someone who wasn't my own teammate.” Steven had lamented. Meeting his old adc again, Miky had to agree, feeling a little giddy himself once he caught sight of a jersey that wasn’t black and white. </p><p> </p><p>Now, Steven was sitting cross legged near the cameras, looking up at Miky who was getting his makeup touched up after a couple of test shots with the lighting. His entire team was waiting for the uber to arrive, he explained, and after some insisting, Steven was allowed to stay back in the shooting area until the uber arrived, talking to Miky about anime and the upcoming playoffs bracket while holding up some of the white fabric screens to help the photographers. </p><p> </p><p>Eventually, once it was Miky’s turn to look over his photos, the conversation veered towards the past, as it usually does when conversing with old teammates. </p><p> </p><p>“Do you still talk to anyone from the dark days?” Steven asked jokingly.</p><p> </p><p>Miky doesn’t take too long to answer, thinking back to his Discord messages from a couple weeks ago. “Barney sometimes, but not really. Just Chres, to be honest.” But maybe he’s pushed the issue so far back in his mind that he doesn’t notice that he’s missing a member. </p><p> </p><p>“Really?” Steven said, standing up a bit straighter. “I thought for sure you would know what Nubar was up to, you guys seemed close.”</p><p> </p><p>Ah, well. Miky started, stopped to swallow the sudden dryness in his throat, then started again. “You know how it is. Happens when teammates leave, yeah.” </p><p> </p><p>But it’s been at least a fucking year, and Miky should be over it when confronted with that part of his past. It was kinda hard to do when Steven didn’t seem to notice the support’s growing unease, continuing to recall tales from their Misfits years. </p><p> </p><p>“You guys would always watch anime without me. It wasn’t—”</p><p> </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>“—fair! You guys promised that you’d wait for me!”  Steven whined, his blue uniform now replaced with a muddied maroon and a large blanket over his shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>“But you said you already watched up to this episode!” Nubar laughed, Miky hiding his snickers behind his hand. </p><p> </p><p>“We can squeeze in a couple more before we have to go to sleep.” He offered, patting the free space next to him. Steven pouted but waddled over to sit next to Miky anyway, draping the blanket over his head. </p><p> </p><p>“Screw you both.” Steven mumbled, reaching around for the remote so they could skip the credits and move onto the next episode. </p><p> </p><p>As the night went on, as always, ‘one more episode’ became ‘let's finish this arc first’ to ‘let's finish this season.’ </p><p> </p><p>“This opening always sounds amazing no matter how many times you listen to it,” Miky commented softly as they watched the animation roll, digging his fingers underneath Steven’s blanket. The adc was sleeping against the arm of the couch, already conked out by the previous episode. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” Nubar started, turning his head towards Miky with his chest puffed out proudly. “I know how to play it on piano. Wanna see sometime?”</p><p> </p><p>“Teach me.” Miky countered, turning towards the jungler with a smirk on his face.</p><p> </p><p>And their faces were so close in that moment where they both looked at each other, that Miky was the first to look away, almost jostling Steven awake at the speed he did it. And he’s so afraid, in that moment. That something might slip out, that he might mess this up. Nubar doesn't say anything about it afterwards, but he does stretch his arms across Miky’s shoulders. The support flinched slightly at contact, not really keen on physical touch at this point in his life, he takes it as a start. He’s deluded into thinking this could go anywhere.</p><p> </p><p>“One day,” Nubar replied, squeezing Miky’s shoulder. “One day.”</p><p> </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>A voice rings out in his head that distinctly wasn’t Steven or Nubar.</p><p> </p><p>“Anime again, Miky?” </p><p> </p><p>Miky blinked out of his daydream with a start, his eyes widening when he looked up and saw Wunder right behind Steven. He quickly schooled his expression into something less flabbergasted, but it didn’t escape the toplaner as the Dane raised his eyebrow at him. He only zoned out for a couple seconds, but Wunder was looking at him like he was standing there for much longer. Wunder ignored his lack of answer and instead lowered his gaze towards Steven.</p><p> </p><p>“Your team is waiting for you. Riot admin says you have to go.” He said, not too warmly. Miky knew that tone of voice. It’s the one Wunder uses when he knows that the person he’s talking to is not that familiar with him, so he deepens his pitch and stands a little straighter to be more intimidating. Usually as a joke, but he could tell with one glance that Wunder didn’t have a punchline for this one. Steven’s friendly expression faltered slightly at this, and Miky felt a bit bad for the adc. He didn’t do anything wrong, Miky’s mind was just going everywhere wrong today. He shot Steven an apologetic look. </p><p> </p><p>“Let’s catch up some other time.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Steven said, sticking his hands into his pockets. Almost like clockwork, Finn came through the door, turning his head every direction, before it landed on his adc. Steven saved him the trouble and walked over to him, placing a hand on his toplaner’s arm. He looked back at Miky with a small smile. “You owe me a duoq game.” </p><p> </p><p>And Miky knew that they can’t really after the new matchmaking changes, and especially as rivals they wouldn’t even if they could, but he nodded anyway. Steven left the room first, with Finn giving the rest of them a weird look, before following him. </p><p> </p><p>When he looked back towards Wunder, he was already getting briefed by the content team on what they expected of him. But their gazes met and Miky knew that he would want to know what the former Misfits botlane was talking about that got Miky into a weird funk. He’s not ready for this conversation though, so Miky quickly slipped out the way Steven and Finn went, hearing Wunder’s loud and beleaguered sigh as he’s given a prop to hold up for his shots. </p><p> </p><p>He slumped back into the waiting room, where only Luka and Jankos were inside, having a heated discussion about the current patch notes. The adc looked up from his phone when he stumbled onto the opposite couch from the other two, asked if he wanted a water bottle, or if he needed another makeup wipe. Miky mumbled back that he was tired and was going to take a quick catnap. The last thing he saw before he laid his head on the couch arm and closed his eyes was his jungler frowning at him, but that wasn’t his concern right now. Sleep, however, only allowed his mind to wander. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>There wasn’t any big drama between them, it just didn't work out. And that happens, like most other teams. But for all the foresight and vicarious experiences he was given and had witnessed, Miky just didn’t think it would happen to him. </p><p> </p><p>They go weeks with scrims going nowhere. He gets switched out for Jesse, who doesn’t seem to know how to play <em> any </em> role really, and then he’s told that he needed to step up to be more of an ingame leader. He remembers fumbling around in comms, trying to keep track of his own lane while having to direct the rest of the game. He remembers looking towards the jungle, wondering when it became so silent. He remembers not being able to give a damn because he could barely see his screen properly half the time. </p><p> </p><p>They make it to playoffs this time, but not to the point that gets them to worlds. They’re the first match for regional gauntlet, and he numbly stands up to hug Kobbe after a grueling five game series, still not quite believing that his team was already out so soon. Their ready room is silent, with only their couch’s depressing speech about how proud he was echoing in the room. It sounds as useless as it did when they kept losing after their win streak during the regular season. And they still can’t find Nubar. </p><p> </p><p>At the end of it all, Miky finds himself in a meeting room, discussing the end of his contract with his CEO and manager, and the option of free agency. He chooses the option that gives him the most freedom, knowing there is nothing else to be done here. </p><p> </p><p>He hears they’re thinking of replacing him with his old idol, GorillA. He wonders if the Korean support could raise that team to the heights he wanted for himself.</p><p> </p><p>— </p><p> </p><p>The following months bring a flood of emails once he tweets out his player status, enough to overwhelm his poor mother as he goes through each one with her in the dining room. An innocuous DM from Luka pops up on his screen once he gets back into his room, asking to duoq botlane during the offseason. </p><p> </p><p>“Think of it as an informal trial period.” Luka explains over Discord. “I don’t want to hear any pool jokes. We already sent you an email and your contract is done so it's not even poaching.” Miky knows. He’d been staring at the body of the email for days now, the only one he hasn’t told anyone about, still in slight shock at the offer. Afraid that it’ll be taken back.</p><p> </p><p>“You already have a set botlane, no?” He asks, the louder, self sabotaging voice in his head coming out. </p><p> </p><p>He could almost see Luka handwaiving his statement. “The org is taking care of it. There’s going to be big changes coming, and G2 is going to be the center of it.” The midlaner (or soon-to-be botlaner if his crazy plan goes through) lets a tinge of excitement and pride leak into his voice. He was for sure already imagining the new season and all the opportunities the league rebranding would give to Europe and G2, cocky in a way years of skill checks and success gives someone. </p><p> </p><p>But Miky, for all the talk of not waiting for opportunity to come to him, hesitates. Even with all the fame and glory G2 as an organization acquired, this roster had an eerily similar trajectory to Misfits’ worlds run before he joined, with some key differences. Against the odds, the unassuming third seed from Europe with an entirely new roster came in through qualifiers, made it out of groups, and this time, actually <em> beat </em> the top seeded Chinese team. </p><p> </p><p>And he was once again being asked to be part of the change that breaks up that roster. </p><p> </p><p>The softer, more confident voice inside of him whispers excitedly: <em> you deserve this spot. </em> He played for this long, this hard, and he has results. He’ll have <em> better </em> results. </p><p> </p><p>Right at that moment, Miky really knows. He wants this. He wants it <em> so fucking bad. </em> He wants to be there, at the center of it all, to blow everyone’s previous image of him out of the water. </p><p> </p><p>And yet, the ghosts of his past remain to reel him in. Always being skipped over for someone else, being the cause of both their playoffs bomb. Not being able to—for a single moment in his goddamn life—perform when it mattered most. </p><p> </p><p>It all lingers and festers in the back of his mind until it all becomes too much, until he’s brought back to the start; when it was just him in the small bedroom,with the worn out kids rug, sharing a bunkbed with his baby brother, wondering if the next call from FNC would be about joining the main roster, or if it would be about being let go from his sub position. </p><p> </p><p>Not knowing if the reason he never got a call at all was because he never was good enough to begin with, despite all the scrim results, the sore wrists, the sleepless nights. </p><p> </p><p>Everyone wanted him to be so much, back then. And so did Miky himself. On G2, he could only expect that the expectations would only be greater. But he wasn’t ready for it, not then, not sure of even now. </p><p> </p><p>“You and Hans always smurfed, despite everything. You guys were one of the best botlanes in the league. But you could be so much better on my team, you have to know that.” Luka continues softly, almost naively. “Between you and me, it’s a done deal once you agree to contract negotiation. I asked for you specifically, you know?”</p><p> </p><p><em> …Oh,</em> Miky thinks dully. And he made it sound so simple. </p><p> </p><p>Perkz wanted him, <em> believed </em>in him. Personally asked for him so they could play together on stage, finally. All of a sudden, each and every one of his internal arguments didn’t hold a candle against the fact that <em>the Perkz</em> wanted him. Miky’s not sure what to say aloud to that, but he starts to pull up the league client on his pc. </p><p> </p><p> “Now are you going to stop being a pussy and accept my invite?” He could definitely hear the smile in Luka’s voice this time.  </p><p> </p><p>“...Yeah.” Miky concedes, clicking on the checkmark button and setting his role to support and mid. Luka already had his as bot first, mid second. “Let’s see how good your Xayah really is.”</p><p> </p><p>And the rest was history.</p><p> </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>When Miky opened his eyes, he saw not Luka and Jankos, but Rasmus and Wunder sitting on the floor, discussing some made up game on the table made of candy bars and snack packs. Rasmus was facing away from him, but Wunder looked up the moment the support started sitting up. He’ll talk to him later. Preferably a long time later. Miky slid down from the couch to join their midlaner on the floor, swiping one of the kitkat bars on the table.</p><p> </p><p>“Care to add another player?” </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Quietly in the dark of his room, long after the rest of the gaming house should be asleep, Miky starts to think things over. Regardless of all the casters and analysts talking about their chaotic play style and their ability to turn any fight, it was all very cut and dry in Miky’s and the rest of his teams’ eyes.</p><p> </p><p>2019 was not easy, it was... simple.</p><p> </p><p>Their record breaking win in spring finals was simple. Their MSI run was simple. Hell, the reason behind him aggravating his wrist injury was embarrassingly simple. And it was simply a matter of FPX being better than them that had them losing the world finals. It’s the simplicity that Miky craves, to have things explained in a way that lets him know how to fix his mistakes, so that he doesn’t have to wallow in the poisonous waters of self doubt and needless retrospection. </p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately, it seems like 2019 was going to be his only simple year.</p><p> </p><p>2020 brought changes. G2 hired two more analysts to lighten Duff’s load. They brought Pinoy onto the team. Luka and Rasmus’s role swap in spring and subsequent swap back in summer. The whole global pandemic. The honeymoon period of their golden run was over, and that too brought changes ever so slightly between all of them, in the way they regard each other and the game. His dynamic with Jankos, unshockingly, also grew.</p><p> </p><p>On camera, Miky understood. There was a market for teasing out a homosexual relationship between two public figures, and it would be stupid to think he and Jankos were not exempt from it. Marketable gay chicken. Thanks to his jungler, his branding at this point was literally being handsome and having the entire league simp for him, which brings its own pros and cons. Miky also understood that, especially in this career, the majority of the joke is that it is treated as such, the idea behind it being that none of them could ever be anything other than straight. This, Miky knew very well. </p><p> </p><p>No matter how hard he tried, he can’t fault Jankos for any of this. Because he knows, deep down on some level, that it wasn’t really an act. Knowing his jungler, there probably wasn’t any conscious thought or ill intent to it. In both real life and gameplay, Jankos gives so much of himself to others, to the point it seems like martyrdom. It was what Miky loves and hates about him. It's just how Jankos is, and the Pole also wasn’t shy about where he put his hands or what he said to others. And if it ever became too personal to be considered objectively platonic, well, he could always spin it into the same joking praise he heaps onto Miky daily. He probably subscribed to the thought that as long as it was funny, it wasn’t gay. Right? It was good for content, at least. </p><p> </p><p>He knew his role when the cameras were rolling: play the part of the exasperated teammate pushing away his overly affectionate jungler. Never give in to what Jankos wants from him. He's played this song and dance before. Still, he couldn’t help but lean in everytime Jankos would offer him a back massage or wrap his arm around his shoulders off camera. There was something more personal in the act, knowledge that it would be away from the public eye, that made it feel special. That he could think for a moment that it all meant something more. </p><p> </p><p>And he hasn’t, he’s never gotten so much physical affection in his previous teams. Especially not anything this explicit. The only thing remotely similar was how Yamato would pull him in close during his pop off games and kiss him on the temple, but that was always familial. This was… honestly, he didn’t know how to categorize whatever was happening between them. Miky’s never been good at the physicality of relationships, always shying away from most hugs or casual touches that he doesn’t initiate himself. </p><p> </p><p>But with Jankos, it’s different, somehow. Through the years, as they both grew bolder in what Jankos was allowed to do and what Miky could take, he got used to and even found himself missing having his jungler around, though he would never admit it in front of him. A league message to play magic or watch an anime sent the right enough message, anyway. But sometimes he wishes that Jankos would just, stop. Stop giving him false hope, stop pulling him along for a ride going nowhere. But everytime he thinks about asking Jankos to really leave him alone, he can’t bring himself to follow through.</p><p> </p><p>There was nothing simple about this, at least to Miky. It’s not like it was hard hiding his preferences. As professional gamers, they truly had no time to be focusing on anything other than league most of the time. And when he’s back home, he can chalk it up to being lazy and uninterested in making an effort, much to the chagrin of his parents. But he’s approaching his sixth year of competitive play. If he’s not going to think about his future in such a shaky career and who he’ll spend it with, if anyone, when will he? He’s older now, and it's less about simple crushes and being too foolhardy for his own good. There’s a real fear in ever being outted outside his own tight circle, and what it means for his job stability, his relationships, his family. But thinking about the worst possible outcome wasn’t exactly healthy, as he has learned over the years. </p><p> </p><p>He’ll just remember and compartmentalize all these interactions for a time when he’s weaker than he is now, when he can curl under a memory and just pretend. In the end, he knows he can’t have the real thing.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>But some days, the same days that lead to him spending most of his night in his jungler’s room, he just ends up falling asleep on the wrong bed. He can’t help it, it gets late and he’s tired. And the pillows are right there, asking to be held. </p><p> </p><p>It’s not a big deal, most of them don’t really care which room they end up sleeping in. Rasmus was the biggest culprit of this, often wandering into the wrong room in the middle of the night and climbing under the covers where one of his teammates was already sleeping. But Jankos was (ironically) a big advocate for personal space. Not when talking or interacting with people as his past actions have shown, but in having a comfortable area away from his job and the four other people he lives with. Gaming was practically his life, for sure, but work was work Jankos would say, and he liked to keep it separate from his private life.</p><p> </p><p>Notoriously, Luka was expressly forbidden from entering the Pole’s bedroom. If Rasmus stumbles in at 2 AM, Jankos would just carry him back to his own room, no questions asked. Even the first few times Miky nodded off on Jankos’ bed, with all the jokes about sleeping together, the jungler would just gently shake him awake so that he could go back to his own room, whispering apologies that he couldn’t sleep anywhere except on his own bed. It’s just a room, he was fine. He never really gave it much thought when asked to move. </p><p> </p><p>It’s <em> really </em> not that big of a deal.</p><p> </p><p>But when Miky wakes up one morning and finds himself staring at a wall with a Polish jersey pinned to it and the sun coming through the wrong side of the room, he wonders what makes this time different.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Which brings us to the now, where it all falls apart. Again. </p><p> </p><p>Wunder’s eyes are switching between the two of them in disgust, his eyes trained on Miky for a second longer. Miky sticks his tongue out at him in response. </p><p> </p><p>“Two against one, Wunder. You don’t even have a raid tonight. Watcha gonna do about it?” Jankos drawls from the couch. Wunder flips him the bird.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing, I guess.” He frowns, before poking the TV remote into Miky’s chest with a glare. “You weebs are lucky I’m gonna take a shower right now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Your generosity is appreciated, Marty.” Miky says sweetly, plucking the remote out of his toplaner’s hands. Wunder plays along by pinching Miky’s cheek harshly with a wicked smile, before turning on his heel to head to his room to get his clothes. The support rubs his cheek roughly, but he got what they asked for. He whirls around to face Jankos, flourishing the remote and a dvd case in his hands like a magician showing off his cards. </p><p> </p><p>Jankos was in a less graceful position, slouched onto the couch and with his arms and legs spread wide. If Miky is being nice, he would say his jungler was posed like the big boss Sett from this angle. But he isn’t, so he amuses himself by comparing Jankos to an oversized starfish as he walks over to the dvd player. </p><p> </p><p>“What’s on the menu tonight?” Jankos asks from behind him.</p><p> </p><p>“An old classic, maybe you’ll recognize it grandpa.” Miky smirks as he hears Jankos’ huff of indignation. He knows the jungler recovers quickly from these jokes though, and expects as much once he’s finished placing the disc into the player and patting it in. </p><p> </p><p>“Come sit on daddy’s lap.” Jankos calls out to him huskily, patting his thighs. </p><p> </p><p>Miky rolls his eyes and slaps Jankos’ leg away, ignoring his jungler’s yelp of pain, and takes his seat next to him. Jankos’ arms don't come down from the top of the couch, right behind Miky, but he’s okay with it tonight. </p><p> </p><p>His jungler doesn’t make an explicit move afterwards, respecting Miky’s space for once. So he allows himself to teeter in the inbetween, the small area separating Miky’s nape and Jankos’s fingers playing with the top of the couch cushion; neither of them saying anything nor moving away. </p><p> </p><p>It gets a little colder when it’s late in the gaming house, so they end up moving closer to each other bit by bit throughout the movie. Shoulders touching, but not exactly leaning on each other. But still, they’re so close like this, and Miky is so glad Wunder decided to stay in his room after his shower or else he’ll never hear the end of it. The movie plays on, nonjudgmental, and the two lapses into relative silence, save for the occasional gasp and giggle.</p><p> </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>He mentions something offhand during the ending scene, something so inconsequential that he can barely remember what it was. Jankos asks him to repeat himself, and Miky turns his head towards him to do so, but the words die in his throat. Their faces were a little more than a hairsbreadth away from each other, and Jankos was looking back at him so expectantly, so innocently.</p><p> </p><p>Later, he’ll try to reason out why he even took action in the first place. Later, he’ll wonder if it was just the accumulation of his past regrets, or if it was the unnamed something he thought was building between them since they first met. Later, he’ll ask himself that if he could, would he take it back.</p><p> </p><p>But at this very moment, staring into his jungler’s clear blue eyes, Miky doesn’t think about what could happen, he just goes for it. He leans in to close the small gap between them, and puts his lips over Jankos’.</p><p> </p><p>It’s embarrassingly nothing, really just a soft press of his lips against the other’s. But even with that, he knows Jankos did not reciprocate at all. Miky’s eyes weren’t open, but he could imagine that Jankos’ were wide with surprise. The jungler keeps still in front of him, the arm on the couch stiffening visibly. </p><p> </p><p>Well, that answers that, doesn’t it.</p><p> </p><p>Selfishly, Miky stays like this for half a beat longer, before quickly drawing back. He doesn’t dare look at Jankos’ face in the aftermath. Nervously, he pulls through his hair with his fingers, his palm serving as a visual barrier to the one right besides him. He’s about to say some weak defense so they could forget this whole debacle, but Jankos beats him to it. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think that’s why he choked her…” Jankos starts, his voice trailing off at the end. </p><p> </p><p>He just kissed his jungler. And his jungler was making a <em> joke. </em> </p><p> </p><p>It was such a Jankos thing to do, to try and get a laugh even at the most inappropriate times. And it could be so infuriating, but… was it even the wrong thing to do? Did Miky really expect him to say something else? Did he even <em> know </em> what he wanted Jankos to say? Realistically?</p><p> </p><p>Absolutely fucking hilarious. He just kissed his jungler and he thought he was going to get some fairytale ending out of it. </p><p> </p><p>Lucky for him, laughing it off was the easiest thing to do. It comes out fast, almost maniacal, and Miky starts heaving for air in the middle of it. The noise he makes is high pitched and like a whistle. It sounds like he’s crying, he realizes.</p><p> </p><p>He feels a hand on his knee, right when he’s about to get up and flee the room, and quickly moves his leg away, discouraging the notion. Stupid, <em> stupid</em>  Jankos just has to open his mouth though.</p><p> </p><p>“Miky,” He starts carefully, in a tone softer than anything he’s ever heard from his jungler, enough to sound almost patronizing. “Have you been doing okay lately?” </p><p> </p><p>“What?” Miky asks, his volume matching Jankos’ as his hand falls from his hair and onto his lap. He stares at the lines running across his palm, willing himself into a state of indifference to separate himself from this conversation. He finds little success. </p><p> </p><p>“You’ve been… moodier. Ever since media day.” </p><p> </p><p>“I can still do my job, no?” Miky says steadily, curling his fingers into a fist and feeling his nails dig into his palms. He still doesn’t want to look at Jankos, doesn’t want to see whatever it was on his face. “We won the series against Mad.” </p><p> </p><p>And he naively thinks that the jungler was going to leave it at that, that he would stop prodding and Miky could leave and just never talk about this night again. But for all his time on G2, he always underestimated just how long Jankos could keep talking. </p><p> </p><p>“You know,” Miky hears him scratching the back of his neck as Jankos continues, the movie moving past the credits and back to the menu screen. “Luka told me a long time ago, before you joined, that you had a history with one of your past teammates. And I didn’t want you to feel like that around me, so I tried to get closer to you to make you feel at home.” </p><p> </p><p>Wait. </p><p> </p><p>“And when we came back from Riot the other day, and Wunder said you met with Rogue, I thought it was something about that.”</p><p> </p><p>Wait.</p><p> </p><p>“I wanted to cheer you up somehow, trying to get you less annoyed at me throughout the week. Like tonight, inviting you to watch a movie that you picked out this time.” </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Wait. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“And it's just the two of us, so you don’t have to pretend or anything. We’re friends, Miky, you can tell me anything, you know?”</p><p> </p><p>“Stop,” Miky interrupts him. He can’t—there’s a buzzing in his head that's making it harder—he can’t hear himself think, and Jankos’ whole speech was making it worse. All of a sudden, everything that happened between them, from this week and beyond, comes rushing back to him. Like someone had taken off the fragile rose tinted glasses and gave him the right prescription to see exactly what was going on. It makes him almost sick, just how badly he misunderstood everything. This wasn’t Jankos being an overly friendly person, or that he somehow genuinely liked Miky romantically. This was <em>pity.</em> His life is a whole comedy of errors, isn't it. </p><p> </p><p>“So you did all of… <em> that </em> because you—you <em> felt bad </em> for me?” Miky asked incredulously, finally whipping his head back to his jungler. Jankos had been looking at him the entire time, eyebrows furrowed and mouth set to a thin line. But Miky can’t read what he’s thinking at that moment. Jankos, who always seems to wear his heart on his sleeve, and Miky can’t tell what he’s thinking. It terrifies him.</p><p> </p><p>Jankos protests immediately. “No! I’m— We’re worried—” </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t need your sympathy.” Miky doesn’t let him finish.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not trying to like, treat you like some kid.” He tries again. “You’ve just been acting weird, and I want to know what’s up.”</p><p> </p><p>“Me? Weird?” Miky scoffs, “Take a look at yourself sometimes, Jankos.”</p><p> </p><p>“Would it kill you to open up sometimes?” Jankos said, letting his voice take on a tinge of annoyance. “You just kissed me out of nowhere, I think that’s pretty weird and out of character.” </p><p> </p><p><em>“Out of nowhere? </em>You want to talk about character?” Miky snaps, suddenly angry at the direction this conversation was going. “Let's talk about how you’ve been acting with me for the last two years. You’re telling me that all the flirting and the touching was for a joke? Even when no one was looking? That you’ve just been stringing me along because you just felt like it? What was I supposed to think, when this goes on for so long? Sorry for thinking that you actually liked me or something!”</p><p> </p><p>Jankos’ eyes widen as he winces at the sudden outburst, and Miky almost feels bad yelling at him. Almost. </p><p> </p><p>“I do like you, Miky.” The jungler whispers, his tone back to its soft timbre from before. </p><p> </p><p>“No, you don’t. Not like this.” Miky quietly responds. “What are you, gay?” </p><p> </p><p>And it comes out mean, venomous, and not at all how he wants it. <em> Stop, </em> a voice in his head cries at him, <em> you’re making it worse </em>. And Miky knows he is, he really does. But he needs to know. He needs this to end before he’s caught too deep in the same game where he’ll always come out the loser. He’s afraid he’s long been stuck in it already.  </p><p> </p><p>The genuine look of shock on Jankos’ face looked so ridiculous, he could almost start laughing again. But it is with a clarity that Miky didn’t have all those years ago, one that makes the insides of his throat constrict and the back of his eyes water, that he is able to see it. The one thing he does recognize, is <em> hesistance.</em> </p><p> </p><p>(It takes one to know one, after all.)</p><p> </p><p>“That’s what I thought,” Miky mutters after a moment where he watches Jankos stop, start, and stop again. Finally, he gets up from the couch, something he should’ve done at the very beginning. </p><p> </p><p>“Miky, I—”</p><p> </p><p>“Actually, forget any of this happened. It was all a prank.” He really does not want to hear Jankos finish that sentence. And Miky’s talked too much for tonight. “I’m going to bed.” </p><p> </p><p>He thinks it's a little damning that Jankos lets him leave in silence after that, legs feeling shaky as he practically runs out of the room.</p><p> </p><p>Miky all but slams the door to his room closed, his heart beating loud against his chest at the whole incident. Immediately, he dives under the covers, not even caring about changing into more comfortable clothes. </p><p> </p><p>After a couple of minutes, he hears footsteps stop outside his door, and pulls the covers over his head, willing them to go away. His heart, traitorously, wishes they would just come in. But nothing happens, even when he peeks out of the blankets and sees a shadow behind the door.</p><p> </p><p>He hears who he thinks is Wunder talking to Jankos outside the door after what feels like hours. He’s not sure what they’re saying, but he can hear Jankos hiss out a ‘nothing!’ before the noise dies down and the shadows go away. He closes his eyes long after he hears them walk away, hoping for a deep and dreamless sleep to take him tonight.</p><p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>nothing to say except seeing caed and miky on euphoria is making me go feral rn</p><p>useless tidbits:<br/>1. the movie they were watching is end of evangelion coz i thought it would be funny to think miky has a good taste in anime :^)<br/>2. the makeup artist’s name is Christine and i never call her by name because, idk! she’ll never show up again!<br/>3. in one of the g2 videos you could see in their old house that there’s two urinals in the bathroom like. did they use them at the same time? did they specially install it in there for that purpose? now that they moved out we will never know</p>
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